Debra's Story
The Wigan resident who is using her own experiences to fight stigma and help others struggling with an often-misunderstood mental health condition.
Around 10 years ago, Debra, 35, was admitted as an inpatient to a mental health ward, after years of struggling with confusing and distressing feelings. She said:
"I experienced long-term struggles with my mental health right from being a young teenager.
“I am a survivor of trauma, and I experienced very severe depression, self-harming and suicide attempts, and had a lot of contact with mental health services.
“For years I was telling people there was something wrong, and nobody was paying attention. Everyone just said I needed to pull myself together, grow a thicker skin, and get on with it. So I did. I tried for ages. And then finally it all got too much.
“I attempted to take my life again. That’s when I ended up as an inpatient. I was at rock bottom, completely rock bottom.”
At the age of 26, Debra finally received a diagnosis, which changed her life.
“When I was discharged from hospital, I went to see a psychiatrist and I demanded an answer. That’s when he told me: ‘you’ve got Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.’
“I went home and Googled it. I found it was also commonly called Borderline Personality Disorder, a controversial label.
“I found out that symptoms can include difficulties managing emotions, behaving impulsively, feelings of real or perceived abandonment, issues with self-harm and suicidal thoughts and actions.
“These symptoms usually have an effect on multiple aspects of someone’s life including relationships, employment, and education. Someone with a personality disorder may have experienced trauma, and struggled with their symptoms, from an early age.
“I related to this, and finally felt like I had some answers. But alongside the useful information, I saw all the negative, stigmatising misinformation that has been spread online, about how people with personality disorders are manipulative and attention seeking, just horrible things that are absolutely untrue.”
Debra started attending Mentalisation Based Treatment (MBT), a form of therapy aimed at helping people to make sense of themselves and others by being curious about our minds. Debra said:
“It was really life changing for me. It allowed me to develop what we call a ‘wise mind’.
“A wise mind is where you balance your emotions and your logical, rational brain to find a state in the middle, where you're calm and can think clearly, recognising your own experience but also considering the experience of others around you.
“MBT is a group therapy. I met some amazing people who were struggling with similar things to me. It was lovely to be in a safe space with people who got it. I developed some amazing relationships, and we are still in touch today.
“I use Mentalisation every day. It’s so helpful and I believe it’s a skill all can benefit from.”
Today, Debra works as a Peer Support Worker at Wigan’s mental health services, run by Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust, using her experiences to help others through one-to-one support, training for professionals, and co-creation of services. She said:
“In Wigan, we offer a pathway of support specifically for people with complex, emotional and relational needs. It was developed by people with lived experience like me, and qualified clinicians.
“We provide in-depth assessment, and a range of therapy options which involve one-to-one and group work over the course of a year.”
“To anyone who is struggling with a personality disorder, whether you’re diagnosed or not, I would say this: you are not alone. Support is available and things can get better.”
To find out more about symptoms and treatment for personality disorders, visit: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/personality-disorder/
If you are struggling and feel you could benefit from support, speak with your GP, who can signpost you to the right support. A 24/7 mental health crisis helpline is also available for Wigan Borough residents, free of charge on 0800 953 0285.
