Pregnancy and New Parents

It is important that you look after yourself but you may put everyone else’s needs before your own. If you’ve ever been on a plane the cabin staff ask you to put on your oxygen mask first so that you can help your children. The same philosophy applies to this situation, if you forget to look after yourself then you can feel more stressed. Try to create a simple plan of the day as this will give you some structure and you can then remember to include some self care. You could start with planning what time you will have your meals and what time you’d like to go to bed. 

You can then think about fitting other activities into the rest of the day, here are some ideas that you may want to try:

Watch a film Have a bath, either on your own or with baby Do a face mask Listen to music

Go for a walk Do a word search Watch funny videos

Being a new or expectant parent during lockdown can be stressful. If you are stuggling with your mental health, you are not alone. 

Local services are help to help you during this difficult time.

 

To find out more speak with your GP, Midwife, Health Visitor or click on the following link for specialist services in perinatal mental health and parent infant mental health in Greater Manchester: https://hub.gmhsc.org.uk/mental-health/perinatal-and-parent-infant-mental-
health-2/

Please download our posters for new or expectant parents below:

Poster for Parent 1.pdf

Poster for Parent 2.pdf

 

Being alone with a baby who is struggling to settle can be difficult for any parent. The ongoing isolation of lockdown can make this extra stressful. If you are struggling, you are not alone. 

Help and support is available. 

 

Check out the websites below for information and support:

• Advice about crying in first 5 months: PURPLECrying.info
• Support for Crying and Sleepless Babies - Cry-sis: cry-sis.org.uk
• Infant Crying and How to Cope - ICON: iconcope.org (please be aware that this website contains upsetting information about shaken baby syndrome)
• Baby Sleep Information Source - BASIS: basisonline.org.uk
• Home-Start: https://www.home-start.org.uk/
• Best Beginnings online support: https://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/see-hear-respond
• Dadmatters: https://dadmatters.org.uk/
• SPOONS Neonatal Family Support in Manchester: https://spoons.org.uk/
• Proud2bparents: http://www.proud2bparents.co.uk/

 

For free 24 hour support Text BABYBUDDY to 85258 or you can speak with the Samaritans by phoning 116 123 – You are not alone

 

Please download our posters for parents below:

Crying and Babies Poster.pdf

Lockdown and Loneliness Poster.pdf

 

This can be an unsettling time for children as their usual routine has changed completely, they may be missing friends and other family members. Children tend to find it difficult to tell you what they are feeling but may let you that they are unhappy and worried by being defiant, having tantrums or wanting extra cuddles. Babies and very young children will not know what is going on, but will pick up on emotions.

• Keep talking to them, playing with them, and being reassuring and soothing them as much as you can.
• Allow older children to ask questions.
• Explain what you can in an age-appropriate way. Younger children may understand a cartoon or picture better than an explanation.
• It’s OK to say you don’t know – most adults don’t know what’s going to happen.
• Ask them how they are feeling and allow them to express difficult feelings. Ask them for any ideas they have about what might help them. You could try talking about this, writing, or drawing a picture.
• Give practical advice about staying healthy – e.g. washing hands and using tissues for coughs and sneezes. 

Family Planner

When thinking about structuring your day try not to be too fixed, you may plan to do school work with your older children but actually you are all a bit fed up and can’t really do it; so try something else like a game of snap or ludo. 

By creating a rough guide to the week you have something to look forward to and the whole family can get involved and think of activities.

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Morning	Pancakes for breakfast school work	School Work	Go for a walk Tidy kitchen drawer	School work	Watch live at Chester Zoo	Go on a bug hunt	Pyjama Morning
Afternoon	Board games	Picnic in the park Play football	School work	Rock painting	School work	Face painting	Make mud pies
Evening	Bubble bath	Paint nails	Listen to headspace app	Call friends	Movie night	Family kitchen disco	Face mask

 

Mood Tracker

Try to monitor your mood throughout the day. It may help you identify times when you need to change your routine or focus on some self care. You may find that you feel sadder in the morning, if so try to have a slower start to the morning or call a friend. If you notice any patterns then you can let your mental health worker know and they can support you to explore this. If you notice that you are not in a good mood then it can be useful to change what you are doing, how we behave can have a effect on our mood, for example, it is very difficult to be sad when you jump on a trampoline. You may also want to try some mindfulness as this can help you feel calm. You don’t need to do much, just a minute can have a big effect on your mood. There are loads of apps that you can use on your phone, headspace is a very good one or you could look at this website here. 

Looking to the Future

Remember this situation won’t last forever, so although we don’t know when we will be able to see family and friends and go to the cinema you could create a bucket list of things that you’d like to do. Try to fill the bucket with everything that you miss, eating out, going to the Trafford Centre, going to the cinema, visiting family.

This is an extremely difficult time for everyone so you need to be kind to yourself, you are trying your best in a situation that we no one has ever been in before.

• Try to have some structure to the day – involve children in making a ‘timetable.’
• Create a routine – children need predictability.
• Use any advice or learning resources from school, but allow lots of time for free play and creativity too. Try to find time for your own hobbies and interests or for learning something new.
• Try to focus attention on one thing at a time (especially if working from home). Try to give your children your full attention whenever you can.
• Try to stay active – exercise and movement really help with feelings. Involve children in physical activities: yoga, dancing, PE (there are lots of online resources to help with this).
• Get outdoors as much as is possible – get fresh air each day in the garden or in the local area if you can.
• Keep in touch with family and friends using phone or video. Support children to speak to their friends this way too.
• See if there is a local neighbourhood support group in your area, or think if there is anything you could do to support vulnerable neighbours. 

• You can speak to your care coordinator, who will be either in the Specialist Perinatal CMHT or another mental health team.
• You can contact the Specialist Perinatal CMHT Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, on 0161 271 0188
• You can contact the Greater Manchester Health NHS Trust Helpline, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, on 0800 953 0285 
• Samaritans has a free to call service 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, if you want to talk to someone in confidence. Call them on 116 123
• You can contact NHS 111 if you need urgent care but it’s not life-threatening · In a medical emergency, call 999 if you are seriously ill or injured and your life is at risk. A mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical health emergency. 

Help from other places

There are lots of organisations that provide support for people experiencing perinatal mental health

• The PANDAS foundation supports people and their families who experience perinatal mental problems. They have a website https://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/ and also a phone line 0808 1961 776. Available on all landlines. Monday – Sunday 9am- 8pm. Manned by a team of trained volunteers who will be happy to chat to you and direct you to the right support. They also provide email support: info@pandasfoundation.org.uk available 365 days a year. They respond within 72 hours and they provide support for families, friends and colleagues too.
• The APP is a charity that supports women and families who experience post partum psychosis. They have lots of information and also run a help forum and have lots of resources.
• Laura Dockrill has recently released a book about her experiences of post partum psychosis it’s called ‘what have I done?’.
• Anna Mathur has also written a book about her experiences with anxiety and worry ‘Mind Over Mother: Every mum's guide to worry and anxiety in the first year’.